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Checking Your Relationship Temperature & How To Get Back On Track

Is the relationship with your partner hot, cold, or somewhere in between? Unsure?

You might need to check your relationship temperature.

Are you even communicating? Have you been arguing a lot? Having amazing, passionate sex? Do you appreciate each other’s time? Are you doing the same things with your partner and feel in a rut?

There are 3 phases to a relationship temperature check… hot, warm, and cold. Review the descriptions below and if you are not where you want your relationship to be, make the necessary changes.

Couple embracing against a cityscape at dusk, representing the unity and partnership nurtured through Best Hope Therapy.


You are in a hot relationship when…

  • You laugh together a lot
  • You can talk about things without fighting
  • You express love, kindness, and sweetness
  • You care for yourself & your partner
  • You build upon your differences
  • You serve each other
  • You feel appreciated
  • You both prioritize your time together
  • You both communicate on a consistent basis
  • You plan dates
  • You can imagine being in a long-term relationship with them
  • You can’t wait to introduce them to family and friends
  • You love each other unconditionally
  • You are intimate more than 3 times a week
  • You share little kisses, big smiles and touches “here and there”


You are in a warm relationship when…

  • You notice a gradual distance between you two
  • Your times together are spent arguing or not talking
  • You are not likely to do things for them unless they ask
  • Your time does not seem important to them
  • Your communication is lacking
  • Your dates are limited
  • You are just taking the relationship day by day
  • Your thoughts about them are good and bad
  • You are intimate maybe 1-2 times a week
  • You notice physical touch has decreased


You are in a cold relationship when…

  • You notice a decrease in the pursuit
  • You’re hearing excuses about how busy they are
  • You feel like a pest when you get in touch
  • You get a snippy reply when you remind them of things that they’ve said, committed or promised you
  • You don’t appear to be included in future plans
  • You feel like you need to spend 24/7 together
  • You are intimate less than once a week
  • You see no physical touch

The reality is that your relationship will stop being “hot” unless you keep the passion and fire burning. Relationships are work and that involves all parties. Learn your partners love language at  Do what makes their heart beat just a bit faster.


Larry Baumgartner is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Minnesota & Florida. He is the Founder/Owner of Best Hope Therapy and specializes in infidelity, intimacy, and relationship therapy. Larry is a Solution-Focused Brief Therapist and helps clients reconnect, rebuild, and restore their traditional or non-relationship relationship. To contact us or for more information on how Larry can help your relationship visit